April 28, 2011 Leave a comment
During my teenage days in school we were taught about men and women. In what aspects they are alike and what makes them different. In those days, I thought that the only difference between a male and a female were their physical appearance. Soon I joined high school and there I learned that there are some biological differences too, like the chemical components in the body, the size of the heart, the size of lungs. Even the bones and its structures differ and some other features too. Then I joined university, in the beginning of the academic classes we were taught how the stereotypes created more differences . And it plays a huge role in the society by distinguishing the works, privileges and options for a male and a female in different cultures in and around the world. I came to know how women are suppressed and are discriminated. The stereotypes exemplify perfectly the characters of male and the female in the society—just as the society wants it to be. Then again I came to know there are more difference in male and females. Apart from all these, as mentioned above, there still exist some other forms of differentiation too. Those are in terms of how they speak, respond and take its meaning.
According to the article “Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers” by Deborah Tannen, She mentions the meta-messages that are misinterpreted ultimately leading to misunderstanding, which I found are interesting to know. She states that men and women differ in how they expect from one another. Many women, after a long-term relationship with someone, feel that the parson with whom she had the relation should by now understand her situation and know what she actually wants without being told to them. Where as a men feel that after a long-term relation the other person should be able to feel free and be open enough to share and tell what they want without being bothered to be asked time and again.
These are completely opposite statements, which in itself doesn’t agree with each other, then how can it be accepted and applied in the practical life? It is true that a person who has been with a partner for so long should be able to judge and know the likes and dislikes of the other person. If one cannot do that than what kind of relation is that? It’s like they are still strangers to each other. However, it is also true that after a long-term relation they should be open to one another and express whatever is in the mind. We are humans and not god that we can understand what others think and want. If you want to convey some messages, the best way is go speak it and convey it verbally. I wonder what other unknown and hidden difference exists or not. If yes, what are those? … What do you think?