Love Is Learned

                There is a debate in our classroom- is love a learned phenomenon or natural phenomenon? Do we learn to love from our family, environment, or media, or it’s only a natural feeling? What do you think?

               Now, let’s discuss, love is learned or natural? My answer is –learned. A mother loves her child because from her environment she learns to love her own child. When an infant comes to her womb, she feels its touch in her body, and this feeling makes her to love her child. Now, my question is, are all mothers good mothers? There are thousands of mothers who abort their children; don’t they feel natural love for their unborn child?  They are compelled to abort their children because their circumstances do not favor them at that time, and they can’t feel love for the unborn child. Again, is the children’s love for their mothers’ is natural? What do you say about Jing-Mei and her mother’s love in the novel The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan? Jing-Mei didn’t feel any love for her mother when her mother was alive because she misinterpreted her mother’s behavior, and didn’t learn to love her. When she came to know about her mother’s story, she started to love her mother. Isn’t it learned?

             Let’s discuss about marital love. You love your husband because he is caring and sharing to you, and he also loves you for the same cause. Can you say that a husband’s love for his wife or a wife’s love for her husband is natural? If so, why does divorce happen? You are compelled to divorce your spouse when you find his or her character annoying. At that time, his or her behavior doesn’t teach you to love him.

            Moreover, why do you love your boyfriend or your best friend? The reason is that their loving attitudes teach you to love them in return. They teach you to open your eyes and hearts to feel the special feelings reserved inside of your heart. Personally, I didn’t learn romantic love from my family, and I don’t know how to make a relationship with a boyfriend. However, I feel love for an unknown and unseen man when I watch any romantic movie. I wish to have a boyfriend. Who teach me to feel such romanticism? Isn’t it the media?

          In conclusion, it’s clear that love is not natural; it’s a learned phenomenon, and we learn love from our family, environment, media, and social stereotypes.

 

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love is..

Upon hearing the word love, we directly think of the relationship between male and female, especially the ‘College love,’ the crush, and all. A smile appears on our face when we talk of love and related topics because we directly think of the love as the ‘love’ between the two opposite sex. Of course, this is what love is but there are many other possible meanings of love too. Take a moment and think broadly what love actually is.

I feel that ultimately love is what we show to others—the care we have for others and the help we provide them, and being altruistic. Isn’t this what love is? Isn’t this what we do when we feel love and is it not how we tend to response to love? One loves someone else and so he/she tends to do things that benefits and helps and pleases the other, things that makes the other happy, this is what love is! Love is everywhere, within the family, among friends, etc. love is something that cannot be forced /compelled to feel. This feeling comes from within with the appreciation, admiration and other such feelings etc.

Love can take place anywhere with any one at any moment. Here, when I say anyone I meant the ones whom you have known, the ones with whom you interact with. It even includes the things that you have in your surrounding that you interacted with every day, every time– Animals too. I loved my pet. But now I miss it as it died in an accident, years ago. I know many of you also have pets and you too do love and care it.

Love has different forms and it is displayed differently depending on the individual how they convey it. We have known love as being kind, caring, advising, giving gifts and all. The other form is the harsh way. Love also exists in the form of scold, punishment and hate (though for a short period of time). When we do some mistakes knowingly or unknowingly, we are either scolded or punished by elders (parents, friends. Siblings, teachers) even our colleagues scold us or at times they become angry at us. And what does this imply? The only reason they do is to make us realize our mistakes, they do so because they care for us. They love us. They are worried about us and so they react this way and only the ones who are close to us, who knows us better than others become angry to us and show their love in a harsh manner. After all this action of theirs is going to benefit us and make us better individual. So love is not limited and there are much more to learn and explore about love.