When It’s Okay to Lie

A dialogue between me and my mother over cell phone:

Mother: “Where are you? Do you know what time it is?”

Me: “Maa, I’m on my way to home. Just got stuck in a never ending jam. Don’t worry.”

Mother: “Ok, come fast. I have made pakoras for you and it’s getting cold.”

I often say this to my mother when I meet my friends after a long time and get so engrossed with them in gossiping that I totally forget about the time. After reading the article, named “The Truth about Lying” by Judith Viorst, I was wondering whether these lie is a protective lie or a trust-keeping lie. I tell this kind of lie not to protect myself because I know she won’t scold me or give me any punishment for being late. I tell these lie to keep my mother away from worrying about me. Again, my mother trusts me a lot. She believes that I can never lie to her, I can never do anything wrong behind her back. Eventually, it is true. I never lie to her except this kind of minor lies. Sometimes, I think by myself that I’m doing a wrong thing. Somehow, I’m breaking her trust, but at least I’m not doing anything that can bring shame for my family or offend my parents. I just want to spend a little bit more time with my friends. It’s just a small piece of lie. I never lie to her in serious cases. Moreover, I never continue to lie for getting late. Sometimes, the dialogue after returning home is like this:

Mother: “Have you seen the time? Why you took so long?”

Me (with a grin on my face): “Sorry Maa. I met with my friends after a long time. That’s why; I was so engaged with talking to them.”

Mother: “Ok. Go and change. Tea is ready.”

We can’t generalize that a lie is indeed a lie, no matter it is small or big. Sometimes, we just don’t want to bother ourselves with unnecessary issues that we can avoid with a small piece of lie. Again, this kind of small lies sometime degenerate the situation. I could do something very offensive while telling those lies, but I never did and I don’t dare to do. So, I guess it varies from person to person. Those who are susceptible to do something wrong behind those white lies, should not continue to lie. They need to refrain themselves from telling lies.

In my opinion, a lie is okay until it’s not misleading someone, causing a big issue, or creating another lie. A proverb says, “Lying is the mother of all kind of crimes.” So, we should never tell such kind of lie that can cause a crime or create another lie. Otherwise, it’s just okay.

About fmoriam

One Response to When It’s Okay to Lie

  1. phamtram says:

    Dear friend,
    I agree with you that white lies are appropriate; however, lies are lies. Sometimes, i also want to avoid telling lies, but it is very difficult. I feel as if teeling lies is one part of my atribute because i can tell lies without thinking; i can make up such reliable lies that no one can discern my faults. However, what do i receive after all these deceptions? The feeling of guilty, the feeling of ashamed. I want to change it, is it possible???

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