trust-keeping lie and my experience

Judith Virost explains the habit of telling lie of human in a brilliant way in the article “The Truth about Lying”. She shows evidence that how easily we tell lie socially without feeling any remorse as those lies are not harmful. However, Virost asks her reader to think that it is ok or not to lie. She says that though all lies are not harmful, some of them are not acceptable too. She divides the lies in four sections: social lies, peace-keeping lies, protective lies, and trust-keeping lies. In the case of trust-keeping lies, people lie for keeping trust to others. As Virost gives an example that often trust-keeping lies come when we want to keep our friends’ trust and lie for them.

When we read that term and examples about trust –keeping lies, I remembered one experiences I had last year. When I was in Dhaka, I got a close friend in my hostel. One day, I decided to go my uncle’s house and she asked me to take her with me as she also had relatives in the same place. However, when we came out from the hostel, she said me that her boyfriend was coming to meet her and she would stay with him that day. Moreover, she requested me not to tell that anyone. Hearing that, I was shocked and said that she should have told me before coming. I was not willing to relate myself with her personal matter. As that kind of affair is hatred in our society, I was literally disturbed by her request and felt a dilemma. However, I agreed that I would tell others that we were together. Next day, I came back and saw that she was crying in her room. Other girls were questioning me that we went together and came back separately, and she was crying, so where we were. I was really in trouble as the girl was not saying anything except crying. As a result, I told that I had to do some shopping which made me late. It was clear that the girls were dubious about my statement. Whatever, I tried to talk with the girl and she said that her boyfriend wanted to break up with her and she was feeling helpless. Moreover, the girl cut her hand with knife and did other things that everyone got to know that she had recently met her boyfriend and had some problems. However, I was the person who was queried by all people. Though I did not tell them the truth because of keeping my promise, they knew that I was hiding something. I was telling lots of lies to hide one secret, which decreased my morality badly. I blamed myself for my foolishness though it was not my own fault. The situation was against me. Really it is difficult for me to explain the situation and how disturbed I felt that time. I promised that I would never be agreed to lie for others and get into others personal matter.

Dear friends, I don’t know, you have that kind of experiences or not. I think, it is better to stay away from lies and from others’ secret matter. As trust and lie are opposite from each other, it is better to avoid trust-keeping lies.

 

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2 Responses to trust-keeping lie and my experience

  1. aditi27 says:

    Dear Urmy,
    I could feel the suffering you went through in keeping your promise to your friend. For those sort of situations, as you have described, I share same view as yours, that is, we have to try not to indulge ourselves with their personal affairs. One lie leads to a web of lies, so it’s very difficult to keep our promise where we have to lie many times. However, sometimes we are compelled to lie and protect someone. Whatever the situation may be, I think we first need to remain ourselves in safe side and then think about telling lies if we have to.

  2. Masooma says:

    Dear Urmy,
    It is true that sometimes telling trust-keeping lies cause problems and put us in dilemma if they are about moral matters, but we should remember that we shouldn’t always promise to hide someone’s secret if we have to keep going on with more lies to cover it. Even if it threatens a friendship, we should think about the consequences of it. But sometimes trust keeping lies may save a person’s life. What about then? Should we still avoid trust-keeping lies? I think we should analyze the condition, ponder about the consequences, and then make the decision.

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