For Judith Viorst, and for you

You ask me what I think about social lies, and I tell you that they depend on the intimacy of relationships and situation. I may tell a rather close friend that her dress is nice, but only if I am asked; otherwise, I prefer silence to avoid telling a lie if she does not ask my opinion. Conversely, when I feel they are really beautiful, I will be prompt to applause her without hesitation. With my close friends, I always tell them what I really think.  Although you say that it is arrogant, and it may mortify and hurt others, I believe they understand that I just want them goodness. Certainly, I will not make them to follow my perception but let her decide what she think is fine. It is better than lies to keep relationships harmony.  However, I don’t consider lies as immoral wrongdoing. Under certain circumstances are lies also indispensible. Do you agree?
You ask me what I think about peace-keeping lies, and I tell you that I approve of you that I also feel culpable. Sometimes, I was angry at myself because I should have told the truth about my faults. Therefore, I endeavored to restrain myself from misleading others many times. Nonetheless, there are also some situations we need to hide the reality. Again, it depends on relationships and situations. I will tell my family the why I am late to be with them or even I forget their birthday. Some people may say it is so rude to upset them, yet it does not deserve to tell lies just because a small things with our loved ones. Suppose they know the truth one day, which one is better, tell them the reality first, or let them find out it by themselves? I believe their discovery cause more painful. Do you agree?
You ask me what I think about protective lies, and I tell you that I completely concur with you. Occasionally, I also feel culpable and often skeptical about what I did for them is really what they really want. Many times, I was fearful that I had surpassed my principles by falling into the circle of telling lies. At these times, I felt irritated to contrive subsequent lies to protect the former ones. However, I will otherwise think that it is not manipulation; rather it is my own judgments, and it is the best I can do to protect them. It is when lies are really mandatory. Do you agree?
You ask me what I think about trust-keeping lies, and I tell you that it depends on circumstances. I my friend ask me to conceal her affair from her husband, I will tell lies, but I also don’t want to over-deceive others like that. Hence, I will advise her to end her this illicit relationship because it is bad for her and her relationship also. If she persists on it, I cannot force myself to go against morality, but choose to refuse to be related to her problem. I am not a person who easily tells others my friends’ secrets, and I am not good at telling lies. Therefore, if my lies transcend my limitation of morality and goodness, I prefer not to tell lies. Do you agree?

3 Responses to For Judith Viorst, and for you

  1. Dear Thu:
    I appreciate your devil’s advocate. You challenged Judith Viorst and us by providing an opposite point of view.
    I do agree with your position. I think that we should not tell lie. However, in some conditions in which a person can save someone’s life, it’s appropriate to tell a lie. For instance, a butcher is looking for a cow, and he came into a place where a road diverges into two roads. You are there, and he asks you in which direction the cow went? In that case, it’s good to tell a lie because it will save the life of that cow. Similarly, if some kidnappers are running towards a girl, we should tell a lie to save the girl.
    Do you agree?

  2. tdenkar says:

    Dear Thu,
    Well written in response to Judith Viorst’s point of views and i agree with almost all of your points. You say that telling the truth in reality is better than letting them discover it later. Well, in some simple circumstances, we can reveal the truth. For example, if one of your close friend is dating someone,but she lies to you that he was just her brother or friend. In this case, if we tell the truth, then it is a good idea. However, if someone close to us is suffering from an incurable disease, then i think it is better to sustain telling the truth. This is because that person can live his/her life peacefully until the day comes. However, if we tell about the disease at the instant, i think that person will be deeply sadden and his/her life will be filled with miseries. It would just seem like he or she is waiting for the death to take over. What do you say?:)

  3. papunauw says:

    Dear Thu,
    I like the way you express your thoughts in writing the response to Judith Viorst’s article. You have drawn a wonderful connection of your point of view to the writer’s point of view.
    In fact, in this complicated world nobody can stay without telling a lie. We all know that telling a lie is a great offense, but a few persons follow this moral conception. As a result, we are becoming morally degraded. I think we should always speak the truth except in the case of saving anyone’s life.

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