Love Is Learned

                There is a debate in our classroom- is love a learned phenomenon or natural phenomenon? Do we learn to love from our family, environment, or media, or it’s only a natural feeling? What do you think?

               Now, let’s discuss, love is learned or natural? My answer is –learned. A mother loves her child because from her environment she learns to love her own child. When an infant comes to her womb, she feels its touch in her body, and this feeling makes her to love her child. Now, my question is, are all mothers good mothers? There are thousands of mothers who abort their children; don’t they feel natural love for their unborn child?  They are compelled to abort their children because their circumstances do not favor them at that time, and they can’t feel love for the unborn child. Again, is the children’s love for their mothers’ is natural? What do you say about Jing-Mei and her mother’s love in the novel The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan? Jing-Mei didn’t feel any love for her mother when her mother was alive because she misinterpreted her mother’s behavior, and didn’t learn to love her. When she came to know about her mother’s story, she started to love her mother. Isn’t it learned?

             Let’s discuss about marital love. You love your husband because he is caring and sharing to you, and he also loves you for the same cause. Can you say that a husband’s love for his wife or a wife’s love for her husband is natural? If so, why does divorce happen? You are compelled to divorce your spouse when you find his or her character annoying. At that time, his or her behavior doesn’t teach you to love him.

            Moreover, why do you love your boyfriend or your best friend? The reason is that their loving attitudes teach you to love them in return. They teach you to open your eyes and hearts to feel the special feelings reserved inside of your heart. Personally, I didn’t learn romantic love from my family, and I don’t know how to make a relationship with a boyfriend. However, I feel love for an unknown and unseen man when I watch any romantic movie. I wish to have a boyfriend. Who teach me to feel such romanticism? Isn’t it the media?

          In conclusion, it’s clear that love is not natural; it’s a learned phenomenon, and we learn love from our family, environment, media, and social stereotypes.


2 Responses to Love Is Learned

  1. fmoriam says:

    I appreciate the way you discovered the reason behind breaking of relationships, but I cannot agree with you in some point. It is true that some mothers abort their child for unfavorable circumstances, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t feel attachment with the baby inside their womb. Again, in some cases mothers want to abort their child intentionally. The same thing happened with me when I appeared in my mother’s womb. She wanted to abort me then because she wanted to focus on her elder daughter only and was not prepared to ake another child. After listening to her decision, women from neighborhood discouraged her to abort and assured her that I would be boychild. That’s why, she was upset when I was born as a daughter. So, I guess the abortion thing or break up of relationship don’t happen because of love being learned.

  2. You are right Tausifa, I also hink that we learn about love form the environment that we grew. It’s obvious that society teaches a person to love one another because if we had lived alone our entire life, we would not have known how it feels to be loved or how it would feel to love someone.
    And regarding your “future boyfriend”, you can’t think about romance before meeting him or knowing him. May be you are inspired by those movies, which shows love without meeting or seeing, which is really strange to me. However, it was really a great example to show that you learned from the movies.

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