Love Is Learned


             There is a debate in our classroom- is love a learned phenomenon or natural phenomenon? Do we learn to love from our family, environment, or media, or it’s only a natural feeling? What do you think?

             Now, let’s discuss, love is learned or natural? My answer is –learned. A mother loves her child because from her environment she learns to love her own child. When an infant comes to her womb, she feels its touch in her body, and this feeling makes her to love her child. Now, my question is, are all mothers good mothers? There are thousands of mothers who abort their children; don’t they feel natural love for their unborn child?  They are compelled to abort their children because their circumstances do not favor them at that time, and they can’t feel love for the unborn child. Again, is the children’s love for their mothers’ is natural? What do you say about Jing-Mei and her mother’s love in the novel The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan? Jing-Mei didn’t feel any love for her mother when her mother was alive because she misinterpreted her mother’s behavior, and didn’t learn to love her. When she came to know about her mother’s story, she started to love her mother. Isn’t it learned?

              Let’s discuss about marital love. You love your husband because he is caring and sharing to you, and he also loves you for the same cause. Can you say that a husband’s love for his wife or a wife’s love for her husband is natural? If so, why does divorce happen? You are compelled to divorce your spouse when you find his or her character annoying. At that time, his or her behavior doesn’t teach you to love him.

            Moreover, why do you love your boyfriend or your best friend? The reason is that their loving attitudes teach you to love them in return. They teach you to open your eyes and hearts to feel the special feelings reserved inside of your heart. Personally, I didn’t learn romantic love from my family, and I don’t know how to make a relationship with a boyfriend. However, I feel love for an unknown and unseen man when I watch any romantic movie. I wish to have a boyfriend. Who teach me to feel such romanticism? Isn’t it the media?

           In conclusion, it’s clear that love is not natural; it’s a learned phenomenon, and  we learn to love some one from our family, environment, media, and social stereotypes.

Works Cited

Tan, Amy. The Joy Luck Club. New York: Ballantine Books, 1989. Print.


2 Responses to Love Is Learned

  1. mumthaz says:

    It is wonderful Thajalli. You have connected many different things together, which we learned in the class, in order to bring your point accurate. I like the way how you connected each point with the other in order to support your point. Thats great…:)

  2. aditi27 says:

    Dear Tausifa,
    I liked the way you have connected love to what we have read in class. However, I think we cannot clearly say that those mothers who abort their children feel no love for them. As you have said that when women conceive a baby, they start to love their children when they feel their touch. Moreover, I think you should have seen the case of Ying-Ying, who killed her baby, not because she didnot hacve love for her baby. It was because of her bad husband.
    The other thing I think you can consider about love is a line in the novel by Amy Tan where it says, “Isn’t hate merely the wounded love?” I think Jing-mei appeared not to love her mother because she was hurt by her mother in her childhood. I think it may be the same with husbands, boyfriends, and best friends. I think we need to love someone to hate them.
    Nodoubt, your connection is very logical and keep it up.

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