Learn something from others’ experience

 In the chapter “Magpies” of The Joy Luck Club, An-Mei tells her daughter, Rose, the story of her mother who sacrificed her life for the sake of her daughter. In the story of An-Mei‘s mother, we found how she was coerced to be a concubine of the rich man. Through the story of her mother, we can clearly see how helpless women were tortured in the past in Chinese society. It was the second wife who cheated An-Mei. She knew that An-Mei’s mother was a widow and could be easily tricked, so later she played a trick so that she couldn’t escape from them and so that they could have a baby son from her. In Chinese society, it was a sin to remarry; as a consequence, she was not accepted by her own mother and brother.
I think An-Mei was trying to convey the message to her daughter that she had learned from her mother, i.e., not to share sorrows with others. An-Mei wanted Rose to find a path to get rid of the tension that she’d been going through because of the degrading relationship with her husband. An-Mei wants Rose to be able to make her own decision and find her way on her own without seeking help from the psychiatrist.
Through An-Mei we can see how mothers are very conscious about the lives of their children. They know that due to the generation gap, children do not listen to their morals, but still they never stop themselves from teaching their children about the experience they had learnt and heard in their lives. I think this situation which is to try to convey one’s experience to the juniors so that the juniors can learn something from the elders, is prominent in each society. They also try to make the moral interesting in the form of stories sometimes.
For example, I have a cousin who was dumped by her boyfriend. She did everything for him. Whenever he needed money, she would give her money that she had been saving for months to buy herself shoes. When he had any problem, she was always ready to help him. When he was depressed with his frustrating life, she was the one who made her uncle hire him for a job in his office. Despite every deed she had done, she was betrayed. It might be because he found new girlfriend after getting a job. Therefore, this was the reason that I always heard her saying to stay away from boys every time she unexpectedly encountered me with a boy. I never listened to her until I was betrayed by my ex. If I had listened to her, I might have never felt depressed after he left me. From my experience I think we can learn some important things from experienced people. Therefore, I think if Rose had listened to her mother, she would not have had to go to a psychiatrist and spend money without getting any support or solutions from him.

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About pratibhatandukar
student

One Response to Learn something from others’ experience

  1. Dear Pratibha,

    First of all, I feel sorry for what you have faced. I like that way you explored the main message of the story. I agree with your opinion that we should to listen to our elders and experienced people. They are more experienced and aware of the situations we might face in our future. Like your cousin, my grandfather also advises me to stay away from the boys. He often gives the examples of some other girls whose life had been ruined because of their boys. However, sometimes it is irritating. He even scolds me if I talk too long in phone and stay out with for long time. He is sacred that I might ruin my life like the other girls. Yes, I admire and respect his alertness towards me but I cannot always listen to him. As a result, sometimes I have dispute with him. However, I understand that he is doing this for my betterment, so I try to inform him about where I am going and what I am doing previously and clearly.

    Digya Shrestha

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