Is Comparison good or bad?

After reading the story, “Two Kinds” in the Joy Luck Club, I suddenly noticed that one of the reasons for Jing-Mei’s mother to make Jing-Mei be a famous personality was the hidden competition amongst the mothers. Indeed, Jing-Mei’s mother wanted her to be popular because she felt jealous of Lindo, whose daughter was a famous chess player.

                Thinking that America could be a suitable place to exploit opportunities and engross her daughter’s inner ability, Jing-Mei’s mother made several endeavors to fortify Jing-Mei’s talents. However, she failed each time because Jing-Mei was not successful in any of her tests. The more Jing-Mei was coerced into taking the tests, the more she became frustrated. As a result, she made excuses to “escape” from her mother’s tests. Moreover, Waverly and Jing-Mei did not have friendly relations between each other. They always fought and gave curt responses to one another. When they met on the talent show, Jing-Mei addressed Waverly very rudely. This animosity between the daughters might be the result of their mother’s comparison and competition.

                Furthermore, I would like to share my common experience. For me, my father is somehow like Jing-Mei’s mother. In fact, he always used to compare me with my other friends in context of my studies. Whenever I got my exam grades, my father used to ask me about my friends’ results. If I lagged some marks than that of my friends’, he would say, “If your friends can score good marks than why can’t you?” This retort usually encouraged me to work hard and get good marks. However, his repeated comparison with my friends in terms of grades, good manners, and discipline often annoyed me. I just could not stand being compared to anyone else.  Sometimes, I also felt indignant towards my friends because of their better achievement in school.  Until today, my father still asks me about my friends’ results whenever I tell him about mine in AUW.  I think that he has an innate behavior of comparing, and I am getting used to it. Therefore, this habit does not bother me at all.              

 Hence, I think comparison can be both good and bad for people. It may encourage you to surpass your parents’ expectations, while it may also harm your relations with your friends.

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One Response to Is Comparison good or bad?

  1. Dear Priyanka,
    After reading your blog, I couldn’t help myself from remembering my dad. Similar to your father, my dad is too concerned regarding my studies. He always compares my grades to the topper of my class. Since my childhood I have been used to with this kind of comparison between me and my friends. And I should feel myself lucky that I always used to be clas topper in my school due to which I never had to disaappoint my parents. But only being class topper was never enough for them. When get-together of family and relatives would be arranged, comparison of own child’s grades was common. I have always been compared to the sons and daughters of my relatives regarding my studies.
    As you have said that you were sometimes annoyed, mine case too was like that when I was young. Now, I feel motivated to study more and achieve more grades than my relatives and friends whenever I am compared to them. At first, a sense of hatred for those friends and relatives used to be escalated. On contrary, now, I feel thankful to those people because by getting higher grades they are motivating me to study more and compete with them. The only thing I want to say is that, it depends on the person who is being compared and how he takes the comparison. Every compliment, if taken positively, has good impacts on our lives.

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