The Red Candle

After reading The Red Candle, I came to draw a conclusion that most of the traditional believes have no significant role in our life. These are only the assumptions of people. It is clear from this story. Lindo changed her marriage life through the use of the traditional belief that marriage will break in the future if the candle of marriage blows out before it fully turned into ash. She herself had blown the candle. She also used the Chinese tradition of respect for their ancestor. She used the name of Tyun yu’s grandfather for breaking of her marriage by saying that it was his grandfather’s wish to break the marriage and there was no adverse effect on her for the misuse of her traditional value.
The Chinese traditional belief about the marriage remembered me about my traditional belief about marriage and the one of the unforgettable memory of my life. According to my tradition, girls have to attend three marriages throughout the life- with Bel, a type of fruit; sun and a real person. We believe that the first and second marriages with Bel and sun determine our real marriage life and we should handle that fruit carefully. I had also performed the ritual of marrying Bel. I was so small maybe about 4 years and I was not known what I was doing. I was playing with Bel and unfortunately the tip of the Bel was broken, I was badly scolded and was told that because of that I will lose my husband in early age. I had cried for a long time and suddenly my mother asked me if I knew the meaning of husband. Though I was not known about the meaning of husband, there was certain pain in my heart. Finally, my mother said me that it was just a ritual and I was quite. Though I was quite, there was something that was hurting me. But my second marriage was greatly successful with bright sun. There is belief that if the sun glows brightly in the day of marriage, it is taken as luck for the real marriage. I was really confused which of the traditional value of the marriages was to believe.
Now, I can say that these traditional believe were only created to establish a society and had no magical effects in our life.

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3 Responses to The Red Candle

  1. “WOW” can be the word to admire your attempt to relate the story of “Joy Luck Club” with your own life. As I also know little things about the tradition you have described above, I can understand what effects do they have in our lives and how much our elderly people value these rituals. You have analyzed this from only one point of view. I do respect your views but I think it’s better if you analyze these matters from all the prospectives. I do agree to what you have said that traditions and rituals are man-made. But they all are our identities regardless of having some superstitions and blind faith. I also sometimes feel that some of our cultures really give rise to gender discrimination. Moreover, they often bind us to limitations and become barrier in most of our steps in life. They prevent us from doing things and living life in the way we want. Nevertheless, I feel blessed that my cultures and my tradtions are my identities. Whatever I am today, apart is due to my cultre. I think culture teaches us to be disciplined. So, I think rather than having debate regarding rituals and criticizing them, some aspects fostering inequality and becoming hinderances, should be noticed and discouraged for the betterment of all within the boundary of equality. Best of luck for your other posts!

  2. roksanahasib says:

    It’s really very interesting to know about such kind of tradition. I hadn’t had any idea about this kind of culture before reading your response. Somehow, i also agree with you that this sort of traditions don’t have any real impact on our life. Most of this are people respect and fear towards the things they admire in life. Therefore, people make it in order to control the society. Moreover, there are also some tradition and culture which reflects the dominating nature of men toward women. In your anecdote i wonder why don’t boys get married three times and why only girls. So I think if traditions and cultures are able to answer these question than they are acceptable or otherwise not.

  3. nusrat4 says:

    Wow! It is really interesting to know about your rituals. We also have an opposite belief from your one. In our country, people believe that if it rains in the wedding ceremony than the bride and bridegroom will lead a happy life. I don’t believe this rubbish. These beliefs are made by people to treat women more badly. It is true that we are the person who can make our own future, like Lindo. These beliefs will subside our strengths. So, my request to all, don’t believe these beliefs before evaluating them.

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